Have you ever thought to yourself “I can’t do anything right, I’m not smart enough, I don’t deserve it.” That’s negative self-talk. So recognizing negative self-talk is easy…. Right?
How about statements such as:
It isn’t fair that some people have more than others or if I have a lot of money, it means someone else is going to have less. And my favorite….Once I get this…. Whatever this is… I’ll be happy.
Believe it or not, these are also forms of negative self-talk.
Henry Ford said “Whether you believe you can or you can’t, you're right.”
There is a lot of truth in that statement. I believe there are 3 truths of why people don’t get what they want in life.
First, they don’t know what they want!
Second, they don’t know why they want it.
Third, they are not willing to do what it takes to earn it.
Instead of examining themselves to determine what they really want in life they allow their negative self-talk to control their lives.
Have you ever noticed that people who have to be “Right” all the time are usually the most miserable? This is because being “Right” means holding on to their beliefs/habits regardless if they are true or not. The scary thing is that most people never question if what they believe is actually true. Once they do, they quickly realize that they shouldn’t believe everything they think.
What I know to be true is that negative self-talk never leads to success. Instead it can lead to feelings of being sad, angry, or thinking you are being victimized. Believe me… that is no way to live.
The secret to getting rid of negative self-talk is not hard. It just takes understating and persistence. It takes understanding that negative self-talk is a bad habit and like any bad habit can be replaced with a good one. Another thing to understand it that all habits are tied to our beliefs. Beliefs can be empowering or disempowering.
To identify our beliefs, all we have to do is look at our lives and ask ourselves the question “Do we really see the world as it is or do we see the world as we are?”
It is usually when we see the world from where we are that our negative self-talk starts to control our lives. I’m not suggesting that our circumstances aren’t real or that there may be people trying to hold us back or rain on our parade. What I’m saying is that we don’t have to be a victim of that. We can make a choice! The truth is that the only thing that really ever stops us is ourselves.
So, if you want to stop the negative self-talk the first step is being honest with ourselves and take responsibility for our own lives, thoughts, emotions, and actions. The most important thing we can do is to participate fully and not expect things to be given to us. We have to re-examine our beliefs of who we are today and who we want to be tomorrow. We have to ask ourselves if our beliefs are supporting us or putting us at odds with others and our goals. Once we understand this we can take steps to change ourselves to support where we want to be.
So take a moment today and ask yourself “Am I sure what I believe is true” and “What one habit can I change today that would make a positive impact on my life going forward.
Remember you are the only you. Without you this world would not the same. There is a unique purpose for your life that can only be found by stepping out of your comfort zone. So today I challenge you to take that first step to eliminate negative self-talk and watch how your life will change for the better.
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